Mommy Land

There's a place called "mommy land" that I have been a frequent visitor of since late July 2006. It all started when I joined the "New Mothers Drop-In" at the 14th Street Y about 5 weeks after I had L. I was desperate to make new "mommy" friends -- women with whom I could share this ridiculously mind-boggling experience called being a mom. The group varied in size from 10-20 people and was filled with women in their late 20's to mid 30's with babies (give or take 3 months)the same age as L. I loved it right away. It was like a group therapy session on speed. It was that intense. I went every Tuesday for the entire time I was on Maternity Leave. And, I have to say, it really helped me through those first few months. Because, whatever ANYONE says, those early days can be rough. And, having some kind of support outside of your husband or immediate family, can really make a difference. I met a handful of great women who lived in my neighborhood and soon, my days were filled with play dates, meeting up for coffee, hanging out in the park or, on those very special occasions, a glass of wine or two at 3pm on a Friday.

I really look back on those days with such fondness. It was an incredible time -- I had never been so tired, yet so happy and yet so unsure of what I was doing. We all bonded so quickly and it felt like we were at summer camp, isolated from the rest of the world and having to rely only on each other for survival. I really loved "Mommy land" and all of the banalities and mundaneness that it entailed. I don't mean that in a negative way -- I honestly mean it was nice to focus on someone other than myself and on all of the things that go into caring for another human being on that level. Soon, though, I went back to work and quickly the friendships and the world we created began to dissolve. At least it did for me. I also came to see how there was such a divide between working and stay at home moms. I think I will go into that more in another post because I really struggle with that and have trouble coming to peace with how I feel about it.

I just visited Mommy land again today. We had a play date with a few of the original women and their babies (now almost 22 mnth olds) in one of the playgrounds near my house. We all shared a few stories and complained about how our rugrat wasn't sleeping enough or napping enough or eating enough...It felt good to be with them again, yet, I realize that like dark chocolate or Valium, it's better in small doses.