Number Two - Month One

It's official. We're going for another one. We've been talking about it for months. O and I kept switching sides -- pro kid #2 vs. anti kid #2 -- until we finally both landed somewhere in the middle and took that as a sign. Our current mantra is "You Only Live Once" - cliched, but somehow it gives us the inspiration to take this huge leap. There are moments when I think I'm ready and other moments, like this morning at 5:55am when L woke up and didn't go back to sleep, that I think I'm not.

We started trying a few weeks ago. When I say trying, I mean, we stopped using birth control. I used an online ovulation calendar to determine when my most fertile days were -- probably not the most precise method -- and used that as our sex scheduler. How romantic. By the way, they now have these ovulation calendars/calculators that tell you which of your fertile days are your best chances for having a boy or a girl. I really tried to ignore what it said, but it was like a big, warm, freshly-baked chocolate chip cookie - I just couldn't resist.

Speaking of things I couldn't resist....

We started this process the week we were away on vacation. In wine country. There was no way I was going to be in wine country and not partake. So, I did. Every night. I didn't drink a lot or anything. Just a glass or maybe two. I've been rationalizing my alcohol intake with the fact that the Europeans drink throughout their pregnancy, don't they? And, since I've been home from vacation (it's been over a week) I haven't drank a drop. Oh, except that 1/2 a glass if Rose at my Board meeting. But, that was all. Honest.

So, now I'm waiting for my period to arrive because I am fairly certain that I am not pregnant. I even took a home pregnancy test, just to be sure. It was one of those early hormone detector ones. Even though I knew deep down that I wasn't, I still got nervous as I waited for the results. It brought me back to the day I found out I was pregnant with L. It was our second month trying, and I got what I thought was my period. It only lasted a day, and when I told my best friend A, she said "You're pregnant. Go get one of those pee on the stick tests and call me in an hour." I was on my way to work but couldn't wait until the end of the day to find out, so I took the test in a bathroom stall at my office.

I really hope it doesn't take us too long to get pregnant, but know that this time around I'm older, busier and more stressed-out. Yet, I know that if I don't try, I might regret it. And, even if that doesn't sound like the best reason to have another child, it's my reason. At least, it is today.